Friday, August 8, 2008


it was early fall weather today, felt like it, looked like it, smelled like it. its just august, so that weirds me out. every time the seasons get ready to change theres an early day like today that hits out of nowhere and reminds me of big things that happened to me during that season. good and bad. besides the fact that i hate being cold, for some reason the cold seasons are always when i don't do so well. the term seasonal depression is gay though, i really don't want to be a person with that. the only seasons i had ever even experienced before high school were rainy season and dry season, maybe that has something to do with it.

regret is useless. keep telling yourself that. everytime the worm gets in your head and starts burrowing around tell yourself again. learn from it or forget about it.

thats all.


Saturday, August 2, 2008

we the hopeful

we the hopeful, we the dreamers
we the poets, always screaming
why should we hope, and why should we sleep
when our dreams are just promises we cant keep
and how many tales do we have to chase
we catch one and then wonder how others would taste
cause its never enough, all or nothing we sing
and more often than not its nothing we bring
and we breathe and we whisper our fears late at night
and we sin through the day, keep our consciences quiet
we will never be loved, or love others like we
wish that we could be loved, they deserve more than me
raise my glass drop the ball and with shining eyes gaze
at the sky cause down here things will still be the same
cause the curse of the hopeful, the dreamers and poets
is voicing heartbreak cause its we who best know it

Wednesday, July 30, 2008


1. we, the biggest importers of oil in the world, are on the verge of a recession that will more than likely spread to much of the rest of the world.

2. oil companies are reporting record profits consistently.

3. the worlds oil reserves are predicted to dry up in the next 50 to 100 years, by generous estimates.

sound like a coincidence to you? someone is trying to preserve their dynasty while they still can.

they may not wear crowns, but they're still the kings.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008


i thought about nancy today. an older lady who said the right thing to me when i really needed to hear it. she brought me flowers too, which seems strange cause i'm a guy but if you knew her you would get it. nancy was an amazing lady. i hope shes doing well.

i finished a bob dylan book last night, chronicles part one. never really took the time to try and understand his music, but hes certainly an interesting character. half poet half bullshitter is the best i can figure right now. very grandiose, vividly descriptive. i can't decide if he just sees more in the world than i do or he just knows how to describe it better. not that it much matters, my experience has been that life is all about your perspective.

i read a willie nelson book too, just a collection of stories, jokes, and lyrics. i think i identify a lot more with him, he makes me ok with the thought of getting old. i want to be that leveled out and accepting of what life throws at me at that age. or hell, at this age. yeah right.

i depend on too many things. consider them necessary and owed me. that sucks. simplify your life.

i've said it before and i'll say it again, a good fitting pair of pants can make you feel at home anywhere. i'm always grateful when my favorite pair doesn't smell too bad to wear, even if they are holey and old.

we had relatives in town this weekend from texas. my aunt went on and on about how lucky we were to just be able to sit out in the back yard with something to drink and enjoy the summer. she's right. i love tennessee, even if i don't like all the people here. although i guess i could say that about this country in general for the most part. america would be a great idea if it weren't for people. catch 22.

And I only love you when I'm down
And I'm only near you when I'm gone
But one thing for you to keep in mind you know
I'm down all the time
-chris cornell

music's got a strange way of taking a simple thought like that and twisting it around in your gut.

or how about this.

most of what machiavelli said made sense, but certain things stick out wrong-like when he offers the wisdom that its better to be feared than loved, it kind of makes you wonder if machiavelli was thinking big. i know what he meant, but sometimes in life, someone who is loved can inspire more fear than machiavelli ever dreamed of.
-bob dylan

i like that.