first

i thought about nancy today. an older lady who said the right thing to me when i really needed to hear it. she brought me flowers too, which seems strange cause i'm a guy but if you knew her you would get it. nancy was an amazing lady. i hope shes doing well.

i finished a bob dylan book last night, chronicles part one. never really took the time to try and understand his music, but hes certainly an interesting character. half poet half bullshitter is the best i can figure right now. very grandiose, vividly descriptive. i can't decide if he just sees more in the world than i do or he just knows how to describe it better. not that it much matters, my experience has been that life is all about your perspective.

i read a willie nelson book too, just a collection of stories, jokes, and lyrics. i think i identify a lot more with him, he makes me ok with the thought of getting old. i want to be that leveled out and accepting of what life throws at me at that age. or hell, at this age. yeah right.

i depend on too many things. consider them necessary and owed me. that sucks. simplify your life.

i've said it before and i'll say it again, a good fitting pair of pants can make you feel at home anywhere. i'm always grateful when my favorite pair doesn't smell too bad to wear, even if they are holey and old.

we had relatives in town this weekend from texas. my aunt went on and on about how lucky we were to just be able to sit out in the back yard with something to drink and enjoy the summer. she's right. i love tennessee, even if i don't like all the people here. although i guess i could say that about this country in general for the most part. america would be a great idea if it weren't for people. catch 22.

And I only love you when I'm down
And I'm only near you when I'm gone
But one thing for you to keep in mind you know
I'm down all the time
-chris cornell

music's got a strange way of taking a simple thought like that and twisting it around in your gut.

or how about this.

most of what machiavelli said made sense, but certain things stick out wrong-like when he offers the wisdom that its better to be feared than loved, it kind of makes you wonder if machiavelli was thinking big. i know what he meant, but sometimes in life, someone who is loved can inspire more fear than machiavelli ever dreamed of.
-bob dylan

i like that.